What exactly are we going to do when we take office?

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1. Abolish the UC (obviously)

2. Abolish the $200 student activities fee, and give a freedom dividend to every student.

3. Charge a $1 tax on every tourist that walks through Harvard Yard ($50 if they walk through the night of Primal Scream)

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And here's what we'll do with all that new money:

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• Refill the perpetually empty condom boxes

• Actually make a multicultural center

• Move the Quad back to the Yard

• Be Responsible Investing Bacow's Endowment, or "BRIBE" the Harvard Corporation to divest from fossil fuels.